SHORT ONE ACT PLAY WITH THREE CHARACTERS
Sitting a bench at the park at dawn is a man named JAMES looking disheveled and distraught. The lights are a little bit dim. He’s leaning forward and looking at his hands. He’s wearing yesterday’s jeans and a fancy white shirt stained beyond repair and buttoned incorrectly with a ring in between his fingers. A policeman walks by acknowledging the man.
JAMES
Speaking to himself
I can’t believe this. I can’t believe I’m sitting at the park like a 16 year-old boy who never got home from homecoming. And now I’m talking to myself like the crazy old guy by the fountain.
Young girl named KRYSTAL sneaks her head out from behind the bench. She is thin and has a worn out pink raincoat and polka dot rain boots
KRYSTAL
Yeah, you’re super weird.
JAMES jumps
At least Jeff by the fountain has a dog. Lonely people always get dogs. They make you feel less lonely.
JAMES
Wait, what? Whoa! Kid? Where are your parents?
KRYSTAL
Why do you have a ring, crazy pants?
JAMES
It’s a long story. And my name is James.
KRYSTAL
Almost skipping with excitement
You could tell it to me. I like stories. I like stories with dinosaurs or a dragons or big monsters- one story had a giant moon that could eat you….
JAMES
Ok, stop. It’s not a story for little kids. There might be a dragon though- I guess it depends how you look it…
JAMES runs his fingers through his messy hair
KRYSTAL
Tell me tell me tell me.
KRYSTAL sits very close to him on the bench
JAMES
I really think we should find your parents. Little kids should not be out at this time of day. Or by themselves.
KRYSTAL
Old people shouldn’t be alone in the morning because you could fall and break. And it’s springtime- I love the spring. I like the lilies…
JAMES
I’m not old. I’m 35.
KRYSTAL
WHAT! You’re older than I thought! I bet that hearing this story will make me as old you, with as long as it’s taking.
JAMES
Oh, kid. My woman problems aren’t something meant for a little kid’s ears.
KRYSTAL
leaning in secretively
Did the dragon eat her?
JAMES
Well…
Considering it
Laine’s best friend looks like a dragon so you are close. But no, no one ate Laine.
KRYSTAL
Laine is pretty name. I wish my name was Laine. It’s Krystal though.
JAMES
Well, kid, I thought it was a nice name too. But now she’s gone. I asked her to marry me but she said no. I asked her to spend her life with me but she said no. So now I dropped five years down the drain.
KRYSTAL
Why?
JAMES
She had all these little quirks that drove me nuts. I could barely stand her. She always wore makeup, and she always asked questions she didn’t want the answer to. She always treated me like dirt. But I never wanted to leave her. No. And do you know why? Because I thought we were supposed to be together. I asked her out because she wanted me too. I asked her to marry me because she wanted me to. But she said no because she wanted to. She just wanted the opportunity to say no. And she got it. She said no. I put everything I had on the line and she just told me to-
stops and rephrases
buzz off.
KRYSTAL
Why?
JAMES
I don’t know.
KRYSTAL
She sounds mean. Why would you want someone mean?
JAMES
I didn’t mean to want to her. It just happened.
KRYSTAL
You should find someone nice.
JAMES
You know, that isn’t so easy, kid.
KRYSTAL
Is that why you have a ring?
JAMES
Yeah. This was my grandmother’s ring from the day that my grandparents got married in Greece. My uncle gave it to me when my parents died.
KRYSTAL
You were going to give a mean lady a giant ring? You’re crazy and super dumb.
JAMES
Are you even real? I drank a lot. I could actually be dead and you are my conscious. ARE YOU JIMMINY CRICKET? ROBIN WILLIAMS?
KRYSTAL
I don’t know who that is.
JAMES’ head collapses into his hand in frustration. KRYSTAL shakes her head youthfully and leans back into her bench and then points at the sky
Look! The sky is pink! Like my coat! Pink! P-I-N-K. Pink.
JAMES
That’s good. You can spell short words. All the makings of a cheerleader…
KRYSTAL
You are not funny.
JAMES
When I thought about marrying Laine, we were going to have little girl just like you and a boy. I was going to be a dad.
KRYSTAL
Oh, you don’t want a boy. They smell bad. All boys smell bad.
Leans in and sniffs the man
You smell bad too. Plus, you so super old- you can’t have kids.
JAMES
How do youknow? People my age have kids all the time. And I would be good at it. I had to take care of my brother when our parents died.
KRYSTAL
But you weren’t ready to be his daddy then. Little kids want a mommy and daddy, who will want them… and love them… forever… And you are a crazy park man.
JAMES
Where are your mom and dad?
KRYSTAL
Shrugs
I don’t know. My mommy just kept on saying “it is too hard” I don’t know what that means though so she took me to the fire station and told me to face the door. Then she told me to count to 50 but I can only count to twenty- I can count by twos. Listen: two, four, six, …
JAMES
Where do you stay?
KRYSTAL
With a bunch of other kids at the in the yellow house over there.
She points to a house off screen left.
They teach us to spell and to clean. But when we’re bad they hit us with the belt, so early in the morning I climb out onto the tree and walk around the park. The policeman always drags me back. So today I hid behind the bench. And I didn’t have to go back.
Smiling widely and proudly. JAMES is dumbstruck.
JAMES
I didn’t know what to say…
KRYSTAL
What’s your brother’s name?
JAMES
Charlie. His name is Charlie. He’s a banker. (Thinking deeply)
KRYSTAL
Charlie. (Repeating the name is various accents, unfazed) Charlie. Charlie.
JAMES
Krystal I should take you back. They could be really worried about you-
KRYSTAL
They’re not. It’s Sunday morning so angry Alyssa is yelling in the kitchen.
POLICE MAN
Hey! Hey you!
The POLICE MAN’S voice sounds off stage. KRYSTAL jumps up in fear
Damn you, Krystal!
The POLICE MAN walks on stage from top of stage left. JAMES jumps up and Krystal inches behind him to stage right
JAMES
It’s okay officer-
POLICE MAN
Group homes don’t like runaways.
JAMES
We’re talking –
POLICE MAN
You some kind of weirdo?
JAMES
No!!!! I was .. just um thinking- I’m looking to adopt her.
KRYSTAL
Huh?
POLICE MAN
Kid, you some kid of drunk? You homeless?
KRYSTAL
Interrupting precociously
That’s what I thought. It’s just “woman problems”
JAMES
Okay, that was unnecessary. Officer we’re on a walk and we’re heading back right now so that we can fill out the paper work.
He turns to face KRYSTAL
No kid should have to grow up without parents.
POLICE MAN
That true kid?
KRYSTAL
Speaking and jumping with shear excitement
Yes, absolutely! Kurt, I’m going to meet someone named Charlie? I promise to take care of this old guy. I promise I’ll take care of him. He’s a boy so he smells but so do you-
JAMES
Okay, kid. I think the officer gets it.
POLICE MAN
Shrugging
Follow me. You get adopted and I’ll get some private time with that beautiful Ms. Alyssa-
They gather up and walk together off screen left and the lights come up completely for a 10 seconds then black out.
